


The longest book he ever read was a game instruction

by samajamo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Changki is life, Cliche, Family Issues, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Gamer Changkyun, Hyungwonho is a thing too, Multi, Nerd Kihyun, No Smut, School Life, Showhyuk as a side ship, Slow Updates, changki, deaf mother, every reader is appreciated, first fic ever i suck at writing, idek how this works, im innocent, im sorry in advance i cant write, tagging is hard, technically romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:04:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samajamo/pseuds/samajamo
Summary: Two people with different lifes, different interests, somehow bump into each other and fall in loveOr your super cliche Changki fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my very first fic and i know i will have to improve a lot but please bear with me and my non-existing skills
> 
>  
> 
> Shoutout out to my bestie Cynthia who takes the time to read and correct the mess i produce i love you uwu

He Sighs deeply as he opens his eyes. The sun is tickling his nose. He overslept again... probably caused by playing video games with Jooheon until the clock stroke 4 am. They originally planned to only play one more game, but that wasn't the end of this night. He lost track after the 12th round. 

He knows that he should sleep. His mom would be dissapointed, if she knew that he stayed up again to play video games instead of studying or better instead of sleeping. He could already imagine the look on her face, once she finds out what he did last night. She would be like "Think of your education or of your future, you idiot. Playing games all day and night? When will you finally grow up for fucks sake"

Yep, that most definetely sounded like her. 

As he stood up he grabbed a tshirt, which was randomly laying around . It didn't smell badly yet, so he took it and went to the bathroom. Brushing teeth, showering and putting on the tshirt.

His phone started to ring, while he was searching for his jeans . It was Shownu, he probably wanted to know where he was.

"Heyy Shownu, what's good" . "You overslept again, right?" . "Well- I would rather call it extending my sleeping schedule to get the amount of sleep, which I need to function properly " . "Mr. Kim will kill you, Changkyun" "Yeah i figured that already. 

„Whatever... i'm getting ready now. See you in like 30 minutes." . "Hurry the fuck up, if you don't want to lose your head. You're already tiny, you can't afford to lose more of your height" …. "Fuck you". Quickly, he hangs up before Shownu could lecture him about being disrespectful to his elders – and he finally finds his jeans. He puts them on, graps his bag and goes downstairs. 

His mother is sitting in the kitchen and silently eats her breakfast. Next to her: his lunch pack waiting for him on the table. There was no way he could get his food without her noticing so he just gave up and goes up to her, lightly tapping her shoulder. 

*Changkyun your late again, your teachers will suspend you* she signs. *Im sorry mom, i didnt hear my alarm, ill try to be better from now on* he responses. *This already happened too often. One more time and i'll take your computer away Changkyun. One more time and you can say goodbye to all your technical devises* . *Mom, you can't just do that* . *Of course i can! I'm your mom* . Changkyun sighed, put his lunch into the bag and quickly hugged his mom as a goodbye, before running to the bus stop to catch the next bus.

The bus drive is calm – The vehicle is empty, all the pupils are already at school. Only a few older people are in there, making their way to the bakerys, which are located near his school. As soon as he sits down, he plugs in his earphones and turns on the music. His current favorite song, Monsta X - Be Quiet, starts playing. It's the perfect song to get him awake – or even to get the needed motivation to get out off his bed in the morning. 

While the music keeps on playing, time flies – and his stop is already reached. As he steps out of the bus, he shivers from the autuums weather, since he was only wearing a light jacket. His mom keept on telling him to dress warmly, but he tends to forget stuff like a thicker jacket once he is in a rush. Quickly, he walks to the school building, thinking once again how ugly it is. 

You know those pretty school buildings from Kdramas? This one definetely isnt one of those. This one looks like a grey, ugly Square with too many windows and the attempt of color at the entrance with some ugly ass yellow doors. Once again, he sighs – before going in and walking to his classroom. 

The floors are empty. The only noise comes faintly from the rooms of students talking or a movie that is being played. He remembers – he left his Histroy book at his locker. So he makes a stop there before preparing himself to get yelled at by Mr. Kim – aka his History teacher – aka the living Hell. Changkyun doesnt know what happened to this teacher, but that particular teacher seemed to enjoy watching his students suffer. Let it be tests every week or other things. He did it all. 

One he stood in front of his classroom – He took another big breath and opened the door.

"Im Changkyun", Mr. Kim immidiately says.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kim , I missed my bus" 

"Detention. Come see me after school we need to talk."

"Yes, Sir" 

Then he quietly went to his seat. Jooheon was seating next to him and was trying hard not to laugh "Hey little soldier, i'll pray for you after school" "Fuck you, Jooheon" 

"Mr. Lee, if you have the urge to talk to Changkyun you can do that after class. Detention for you too, i dont tolerate people who dont appreciate my efford, while I try to get something in your helpless brains".

Jooheons smile fell and this time it was Changkyun who had to try not to laugh.

They tried to stay quiet, but later ended up talking about the newest game releases nonetheless, since they already got detention.

The day went by slowly. Time seemed not to pass at all, classes went by like sticky gum.

After the last class was over in his mind Changkyun was already home, quickly packing his stuff to go to this desired place. 

"Im Changkyun, i hope you were not planning to go home just now", His teacher says as he catches him in the hallway.

Well shit.

"Of course not, Mr. Kim! I just wanted to go to the toilet real quick before attending Detention"

"Then please hurry up, Mr. Im. We don't want to stay longer in school than necessary, don't we?"

"Of course not" he answers, while rolling his eyes. 

He went to the toilet, noticing that visiting the toilet wouldn't be the baddest idea – before he slowly walked to the detention room where Jooheon is already waiting for him along with Mr. Kim.

He deeply sighs, before entering the room. The younger one is about to sit next to Jooheon, when Mr.Kim stops him "I want you to work during Detention Gentleman...Not chatting. Go sit at the front Changkyun" Can this get any worse? Changkyun collected his stuff and walked towards the front.

"Due to a different appointment, i wont be able to be present the next hour..anyways finish this task, ill collect them when Detention ends AND ill grade them so you both better work hard. I dont want to have half finished bullshit on my table, which i have to correct afterwards."

And this was exact reason why he was so hated. He gives you tons of work, always wants the best result while doing nothing himself. Of course hes pretty intelligent and knows how to teach but hes overdoing it sometimes.

"Nevermind i have another idea" Mr. Kim smirks, which is never good. Teachers arent supposed to smirk, thats just creepy.

"This will consume much more time than just one time Detention. It will be a project, which will run for lets say two months. You both choose a book, read it, analyze it and write an essay. The Topic – your opinion on the book. I dont want something like "Yeah it was pretty good, yeah no i didnt like it"

I want at least 2-page essay, where you express your opinion and explain it. You can work for it in class too, since our new topic is literature and the others will just all get the same book. I want you two to choose one for yourself. To be clear, I dont want you to choose a young romance novel. Everyone could do that. It should be more complex, or at least touch a heavy discussed topic or better controversial topic.

I want you two to take this serious. While other will take an exam about the book the class will read, ill take your finished product as an exam grade. So you better try your best. So do you have any questions? By the way if you just look up Wikipedia summarizes and take an esaay from the internet, ill know it. 

Youve been my pupils for 4 years now, believe when i say i know your writing style and how you work. Which also means i know that you can do it, you both arent dumb as some other people but you dont use your brain enough so this will be your chance to shine and you better not fuck it up. Thank you very much" Mr. Kim soundly breathes out after he just hold them almost a whole lecture.

Jooheon raises his arms and asks "So we both have to do it individually, no teamwork at all?"

"Yes, thats right"

Changkyun is fucked.

Jooheon wont have big problems with the task. Hes good at expressing himself through words and before he started gaming he used to read a lot, so hell probably find himself a good book and just do it.

But not Changkyun. He has never opened a book outside from school and even in school he always had problems with voicing opinions or even understand what the fuck the author wanted to portray. And now Mr. Kim wants him to find a book, which is complicated as fuck and write something about it. He already sees the F as his endmark for this subject. Urgh he doesnt want to do it.

"Ill leave now, you can leave the room if you want to go to the library to find a fitting or you can research in the internet. I might drop by from time to time so i better not catch you not working"

Jooheon and Changyun nodded and Mr. Kim leaves the room.

While Jooheon just pouts and starts complaining about the teacher, Changkyun just shruggs it off and packs his stuff to go to the library.

"You are really going to look for a book now?" Jooheon asks

"Do i have a choice? You know I hate literature, itll take for me forever to finish this shitty essay so i better start soon"

Jooheon nods and quickly gazes on his phone again, probably texting with his boyfriend. Changkyun forgot the name again, i mean who can keep up with the names when the boyfriend changes like every month. Not that Jooheon hits on people, he just falls in love really quickly but also falls out of love pretty quick. Changkyun doesnt judge him for that. Jooheon just hasnt found the right one and will continue like this until the right one shows up.

At least thats whats Jooheon always says "Falling in love is easy, staying in love is hard. If i fall out of love were just not meant to be and i end things. But im sure that one day ill find the right one, the one that makes me fall in love with him every single day and until that ill continue like this. This is my way to find the right one and im sure he will show up". 

Changkyun can only roll his eyes everytime Jooheon tells him that. Personally, he doesnt believe in such things. Love never lasts. Love is evil, it manipulates people, make them do horrible things, makes them behave like a complete idiot. He experienced that first hand.

His mother was stupidly in love with his father, did everything for him. He told her to loose weight, she lost so much she looked like a bony ghost. He told her her nose was ugly, she got surgery. Even when she found out he cheated on her or more like is still cheating on her she stayed. 

Made him breakfast, wished him a good day when he left for work, told him she loves him and many more things. Changkyun was really young at that time, but he knew this wasnt okay. He tried to help her, to make her realise he isnt worth it. But she didnt listen.

After years of his moms pathetic behaviour his dad finally left. It broke his mom, but he knew she was better off without him. 

His teenage days were hard. His mom tried her best to make him feel loved, eventhough she was broken herself. He often found her crying herself to sleep. Luckily he found friends, really good ones on top of that. Esspecially Jooheon, he was the only one who knew his full story, the one he trustedd the most. Later on he started gaming. In his games he found a hobby that made him happy that made him forget the nonexisting contact with his father. It was like he completely after he dissapeared after he left his mom-

"Changkyun??" "Oh sorry i got caught up in my thoughts" "Yeah saw that dumbo, now go to the library if you are so eager to find a good book"


	2. Welcome to the library uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The library doesnt seem that bad after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the mess chapter 2  
> i hope you enjoy it uwu

The library seemed to be empty, when he entered. Only the old granny, who manages the whole lending system, sits in her chair behind that old ass wooden table – with a computer that looks like it's from the last century. She looks at Changkyun for a second, but quickly looks away again, typing stuff into the computer.

 

Hes never been at the library before – and he certainly didn't expect it to be such a nice room. He always thought that librarys would smell disgusting and that everything would be stuffed into the wooden shelves.. However, now as he stands in the middle of the room, he reconized that it was rather big and really bright – thanks to the big Windows on the one side of the room. It still radiated that "Last century" feel – mostly because of that granny's worktable – but the rest seemed more modern.

 

The book shelfs are colored in a warm white, instead of just normal wood. On the front part of the shelfs are the different categories for the books listed and on the sides are little cards with letters in an alphabetical order. It seemed to be organized quite well.

 

On the way to the library Changkyun had already started thinking about what kind of book he would like to choose, but.... His knowledge about books equals zero. So he decided to go for an easy read with less pages – compared to 'those' classics, which would take him years to read . 

 

There was no point in trying to understand a 400 page long novel about 'The meaning of life' when he never even touched a book before. In conclusion he will try to find some 'short story', which can be analyzed to death, hopefully about a topic he actually knows some stuff about. 

 

He looked around trying to find the desired section of the library, but the only categories he saw were Thriller, School and Romance. He was getting frustraded....After 10 minutes of disoriented walking and looking like a lost fool – he gives up and goes to that old granny.

 

"Excuse me do you have a short story section?"

 

"Of course we have that. It's right next to the Foreign language section"

...And where the fuck is that supposed to be...

"And where is the Foreign language section? I'm sorry, its my first time here"

"Yeah thats pretty obvious, young man. You see the Romance section right? Go through it and at the end of the shelf turn right. Theres the Foreign language section and if you go a little bit further into that section theres the short story section as well."

"Ah thank you so much"

 

Following the intructions he just got, he goes into that unknown labyrinth of book shelves.

 

– Just when he turned right he bumps into someone. 

 

"Oh, i'm so sorry! I wasnt looking, where i was going!"

The brown haired boy he just bumped into quickly gathers his book again, before looking up.

"Ah its okay! I wasnt looking either" the unknown says while laughing.

Changkyuns heart stopped for a bit seeing that bright laugh.

The way his eyes literally got dimples when he smiles while his eyes are almost dissapearing,how he slightly tilts his head back while making weird noses and then suddenly realising hes in a library so he quickly shuts up.

Just one word.

Adorable

"I'm Yoo Kihyun by the way"

"Changkyun, i'm Changkyun" Fuck he sounded so weird he just wants the ground to swallow him.

"So... i guess see ya around!" Kihyun says while going away.

"Wait-" But Kihyun is already gone.

After a quick "get yourself together you dont even know him" he starts to walk again, trying to find a fitting book.

 

The Short story section seemed pretty small, maybe 200 books at most. He slowly starts looking through them, praying to find the right one for his project.

Turns out most of them are just books for small children – about animal adventures.

He Sighs as he leans against the shelve.

 

Maybe it would be better to come back tomorow. His head is starting to hurt and the detention will be over soon too. So he slowly grabs his backpack and tries to find the way back to the entrance.

"Have you found the book you were looking for?" the granny asked, as hes passing her.

"Unfortunely not but I will come back tommorow to see if i can find it" He says while turning around to face the granny. The old woman seemed to be grumpy when he entered, but now it seems like shes pretty nice, probably because she has nothing to do most of the time, since pupils prefer googling instead of looking it up facts in actual books.

 

And he is one of those too. If you dont know something just google it and there are ebooks too so you dont have to carry around a heavy book all the time. 

As he leaves the library he sees Jooheon leaving the Detentionroom.

"Hey buddy"

"I swear to god Mr. Kim is so annoying, urgh i dont want to write that shitty essay" Jooheon says while pouting.

"What did you expect though, he loves giving extra work to literally everyone"

"I know that, let me hate him in Peace. By the way ….that fucker didn't even check up on us again. I bet he said he has an appointment but just went home to plan murder"

Changkyun cackled. Yes, Jooheon loved to whine about everything. not that he would ever say that into a teachers face, no he was always the nice one but it got annoying sometimes like he does that 24/7.

 

They continued to chat, while they went home together, having no other option left than that, since the last school bus already left.

They talked about their plans for the Winter break, future plans and of course – food.

"Have you been to the new convienient store at the Mall? Shownu went there with Minhyuk and they said they have lots of Ramen theyve never seen before"

"Nope, but i bet Wonho was already there", he laughed.

"You right, he went there the day it opened" Jooheon answers while laughing. Yes Wonho really loved Ramen. 

 

Time flew by quickly, while they were talking – so they arrived quickly at their houses, saying each other their goodbyes and went in. They lived in the same street, which has been always great for spontanious sleep overs – and once they grew older for the first parties at Jooheons house. Evenethough Party might be the wrong word, since it were almost always only a few close friends and a 'little bit' of alcohol.

 

Laughing at the flashbacks, which are playing in his head, from their first "Party" Changkyun opens the door to his house. 

He always calls it his house but in real life its only an apartment inside a house. There are two apartments in this house, the one where they live in and one where an old grandpa lives who gets visited by his grandchildren from time to time.

 

As soon as he stepped into the room he already hears his mum cooking. He kicked his shoes into the corner, while he started to take off his jacket.

He goes into the kitchen and taps his mom on the shoulder.

*Mom im home*

*How was your day my dear? Why are you home so late?*

Ah right he forgot to tell her he was stuck in Detention.

*Sorry mom. Mr. Kim gaves us Detention again... for literally just talking*

*But talking isnt allowed in class, when the teacher is speaking, honey*

*Whatever* he signs and then starts helping his mum with the food.

After they finished they silently ate and Changkyun started to do the dishes afterwards, while his mom says goodbye to go to her Yoga Course.

 

Since there weren't many dishes to clean – he finishes pretty quickly and then went upstairs quickly to finally turn on his computer, just to continue the game where he had stopped yesterday. Jooheon had promised they would play against at each other again.

 

As soon as Changkyun starts the game he starts to forget everything around him.

 

The only important thing? The Game.

 

Hours went by in a blink of an eye.

 

Oh Fuck...

 

3 am...

 

Quickly, he turns off his computer and goes to bed hoping that this would be one of those days, where his mom didnt notice the late hour he went to bed... 

He fell asleep hoping, even if she noticed, that she would let this pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my lovely Cynthia again
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated~


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another day in the, till now boring, life of Changkyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it seems like the ff doesnt have any progress but i personally think its important to get to know the main character before "heating things up"

~beep,beep,beep~

Changkyun opens his eyes, annoyed by the loud noise that woke him up.

Groaning he takes he alarm clock and throws it against the wall. 

The moment you wake up to school is by far the most shitty one. Its early as fuck, the bed is still comfy and warm, which makes you wanna stay in bed, but you have to get up for something you dont even enjoy. Changkyun would do everything to not have to get up but after 10 minutes of self-pity he decides getting up is better than a dissapointed mom if he would be late for school again.

His eyes feel heavy as he gets up. He opens his wardrobe, this time remembering its already late autumn and that its cold, taking out a black hoodie and some ripped jeans. 

He goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, taking a quick look into the Mirror.

Sigh.

He looks like a ghost, pale and with dark eyebags as if he hasnt slept for days. 

He tries to refresh himself, taking a quick shower, to not look that dead, but he doubts that it had any effect.

After dressing himself, he wents downstairs. His mom already finished his lunchbox and is now waiting for him to eat together. Eventhough they only eat Cereal, his mum cherishes the breakfast together a lot. He always feels bad when he oversleeps and they dont get a chance to eat together.

He sits down and pours milk into ihis cereals. His mom knocks on the table and he looks up.

*Did you sleep well my dear? You look tired*

*Dont worry mum im okay* he smiles. *I slept good thanks to your delicious dinner*

His mum grins before starting to eat. His heart melts everytime he sees her mum smile. They went through so much but she still manage to smile for him after all.

He quickly finishes his meal, grabbing his lunch and kisses his mum before taking his jacket and running to the bus station so he`ll catch the bus this time.

When he arrives the bus stop is still packed, which thankfully means that the bus hasnt arrived yet.

"Wow Changkyun on time im surprised" someone loudly says

He turns around already knowing who it is.

"Hey Shownu" he says, which causes his childhood friend to give him his signature eye-smile

Shownu and Changkyun have been friends since they were born. Their mothers were friends so they were together all the time. Its not like they are super super close aka sharing all their secrets with each other,but he enjoys talking to Shownu because he always gives off a calm and comfortable vibe.

He knows if he ever would need help Shownu would be there. Hes not a man of many words, which is the reason why Changkyun is still confused why Shownu is together with Minhyuk, the loudest person of the whole school, but hes trustable and even if they dont talk that much a precious friend to him.

While being caught up in those thoughts again, Shownu waves in front of his face.

"If you dont want to miss the bus we should go now" 

"Oh yeah sorry, got caught up in thoughts again" 

"I know that dumbo that happens to you all the time. I cant count on one hand how often you missed a bus because of that"

While rolling his eyes he enters the bus or better squished himself in the bus because its super full.

He gets his earphones out again and presses play. My Name, a song that was recently released by a DJ named H.ONE, starts. He loves the song a lot and wished people would appreciate it more.

The song stays on repeat, his head slowly bopping along to the beat and makes the bus drive end faster.

He steps out of the bus and the cold wind hits him with full force. Yeah its definitely Autumn. Shivering, he speeds up his walking until he reaches the school entrance.

The school is surpringly warm, Changkyun never thought the school would actually use their heater, when they cant even afford warm water to wash your hands in Winter because shit imagine washing your hands with water as cold as ice, then you rather dont go to the toilet at all. 

Oh he got distracted again.

Anyways he continued walking to his locker to get his books for his first class.

Remembering his first class is Math he just wants to take the next bus home and go back into his bed. While he processed these very nice thoughts, his Math teacher passed him

fml

"Why arent you in class yet Mister" "I was just about to go dear Ms. Dodo"

He really doesnt like his math teacher, shes loud and thinks that people can actually understand math which isnt the case in his class. He literally uses the calculater for 1+2 in his exams to make no mistakes and then she thinks he can understand higher math?? Wheres the logic?

Fortunely Mr. Dodo leaves him alone the whole class so he talks with Jooheon about the newest game on the market that he might wants to buy.

The rest of the day stays uninteresting and boring. Teacher that are too enthusiatic and pupils who dont want to do anything. In the last class half of the class was literally sleeping while their ethic teacher explained something about god and the world, who knows he didnt even listen himself.

When it finally rang everyone quickly dissapeared to get home as fast as they can. Changkyun gathered his stuff too but then went to the library.

The library was empty like he expected. He quickly greeted the granny before trying to find the short story section again. After 10min of unsure walking through the shelves he finally finds the right one and starts looking for a good book again where he stopped the day before. 

Biene Maja, Pinocchio.. why are only kids books in the section, he thinks.

Right before he wanted to give up after 30min of useless searching he spots an really thin tiny booked squished by two fairytale books. He takes it out. Its called Locked: in your own body (Original title: Gefangen: Im eigenen Körper). The summary seems interesting so he decides to go with it. 

He finds his way back to the granny and successfully lends the first book in his life.

"You chose a good book. Its short but you write a lot about it. I hope you will enjoy it" the old lady says while scanning the book and filling out the form for lending books.

He says goodbye and makes his way to the bus stop. On his wayy he bumps into someone again in the hallway. This time hes the one who literally falls on his butt. 

"Oh my god im so sorry i wasnt looking" Wait- He knows that voice. He looks up and yes thats the eye-dimple boy from yesterday. 

"Ah its okay" Changkyun laughs. "Lets just not make this a habit"

There is it again. The laugh he liked so much. Just as bright as yesterday, Kihyun is smiling at him.

"Right your the boy from the library yesterday right?"

"Yeah" Changkyun scratches his head.

"You know there arent pupils in the library normally after school, so i was really suprised meeting you yesterday"

"I had Detention and the teacher gave me a task for what i needed to go to the library. Ive never touched a book by myself before to be honest" Changkyun said embarassed.

"Ah that explains a lot. You dont really looks someone whos interested in book" he grins.

"I guess-"

"Ill have to go now, my teacher is waiting for me. See you around" Kihyun says before going away.

Why would he go to a teacher after school, Changkyun wonders, is he one of those extreme nerds that do everything for goof grades? But he didnt really seem like that.

He shakes himself out of the thoughts and goes to the bus stop, catching the bus just on time. 

While hes listening to Monsta X in the bus again, he just cant stop thinking about the lovely boy that he now already bumped in twice. His smile is really cute,,,

When he got out of the bus the sky already had started to get dark. At those times you really knew the Winter is coming, the days started to be shorter again and its getting colder and colder everyday. 

He hurries to get home, his stomach already growling,hoping that his mum has prepared Dinner already. 

He was greeted by an intense tomato smell when he came home. He peeks into the kitchen seeing his mom making Tomato soup with selfmade bread. He taps her on the shoulder.

*Hey mom that looks the delicious*

*Thanks dear. How was school? Can you please put the soup bowls on the table*

*School was boring as always. Did i mention that Mr. Kim gave Jooheon and me a special task? We know have to write an analyzation of a book we can choose ourselfs. You know how bad i am with that kind of stuff*

After he finished ranting, he gets out the bowls and put them on the table.

*You know thats not true. You will just have to work for it and thats why you dont like it, your just lazy Kyunnie*

He rolls his eyes while his mom puts the food on the table.

*Eat well my baby*

*Mom im not a child anymore*

*You will stay my baby forever*

Grinning, she starts eating and Changkyun started too.

After they cleaned up the kitchen, Changkyun promises his mom to not play today and read the book instead before going upstairs in his room again.

Exhausted from the long day he lets himself fall onto his bed.

Before he can even get out the book, he falls asleep because of the lack of sleep the last few days.

Later on his mom looks after him. Chuckling she turns his alarm on and puts a blanket over her dear son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cynthia, my lovely editor aka my angel I love you


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they meet again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im pretty sure you noticed by now that i absolutely suck at writing summaries

The week passed by without any incidents..and without Changkyun meeting Kihyun again.

 

 

The Boy cant help it, but feeling a bit dissapointed and sad about the fact that he wasn't able to see that smile, which he adores so much, again. All he did in the past week was that he read that book – or more specific.... read that book at least 5 times to understand it. It is super short and easy to read but the granny was right, you can write a lot about it.

The book is about a person, who had an accident and realized after he wakes up that he is locked in his body. He talks and screams, but no one seems to hear or notice that. The other people around him can only hear him mumbling, since he is disabled after the accident. The authors intention was to speak about a controversial topic. It is often said that disabled people dont really know what is going on around them, but what if that isnt the thing. What if they see way more than we think? Thats what she wanted to show with that little scene.

 

It also made Changkyun think a lot about his mother. What if even if shes deaf, what if she can sense other things with her ears instead. And what if there are things she wanna say but sign language doesnt give her the oppunity to do that. It left open so many questions that he knows he wont get answers for. 

The topic deafness was a really sensitive topic for his mom, since she wasnt born deaf. It was caused by a problem during one of her surgerys she did for his "father" The way to get back to life was hard for her, learning sign language and in general learning to live with it. Changkyun struggled too, not being able to communicate with his mother in the beginning was horrible. Especially when his father left them. She couldnt work at that time yet and he was just a pupil. They got support from the government in the beginning before slowing finding back to their lifes. 

 

It was hard at first, but it's the reason why his mum and Changkyun are as close as they are right now, making everything they went through worth it.

 

If you hear first about Changkyun, you only hear that he's a Gamer, which often leads to people thinking hes some dude that only games, aggressively screams at his screen and doesnt appreciate the real world. But his friends know it better.

 

Changkyun is incredible strong, is always there for his friends, is quite a calm player eventhough he gets invested in games A LOT, cherishes the little things in life and takes nothing for granted.

This is why he became friends with Jooheon, who might seem to be intimidating at first sight, but hes actually just a squishy puppy that needs a lot of attention and love and of course loves to game.

Thinking about his friend.... definitely made Changkyun nostalgic again. He gets out his phone and dials Jooheons number.

 

"Hey Changkyun, what's up"

"I just had flashback to our last sleepover and its been so long we should do it again. Do you have time this Friday?"

"Yeah sure, but i have to go to some convention. I dont even know what it is about, but Shownu is dragging me along with him.... since his boyfriend wants him to come and he doesn't want to go alone. He's scared that he' going to just stand there awkwardly. You know how he is. Now that i think about it,,,we should go together."

"But didnt Shownu ask only you?"

"Yeah but i feel like im gonna end up alone because im pretty sure his boyfriend finds a way to involve Shownu in his work, whatever hes doing there"

"I mean sure, its not like i have any other friends that i could meet at that time" Changkyun jokingly says

"Ah shut up dumbo and dont leave me hanging there. I will text you the details later on. Youre the best, bro"

"Yeah see you"

After Jooheon cut off the call, Changkyun realised Friday is tomorrow. What do you even wear to a convention, not to mention that he doesnt even know what kind of convention it is.

He quickly texts Jooheon asking for the theme of the convention, before finally starting his essay for Mr. Kim. He knows he got a lot of time but if there would be any problems in the progress, starting late could cause a total disaster so he rather starts now.

He stares at the blank page on his laptop. How you do you even start such an essay??

He gets his phone out to google it when he sees Jooheon has already responded.

 

~Its a book convention~

 

Urgh no more books please, he thinks.

What do you wear to a boring ass convention where people talk about books oof.

He decided to just spontanous get the first clothes that he sees out of his wardrobe tomorrow. 

He lets himself fell on the bed again, slightly shivering by the cold blanket. Shit he forgot to turn on the heater in his room. His mum keeps scolding him to wear warmer clothes and turn on the heater so he wont get sick. Not that he gets sick easily, his mom just worries too much.

While he is laying again his minds wanders to the brown haired nerd and his beautiful smile once again and with that he falls asleep, completely forgetting about the game challenge he wanted to do with one of his gamer mutuals.

 

~beep, beep, beep~

 

once again his shitty alarm clock wakes him up from his precious sleep. One day he will throw that thing into the trash can after destroying it with a hammer.

He gets up, same routine as every morning , slowly trying to wake up while getting some clothes to wear and brushing his teeth. 

As always his mum is already waiting, they eat together and he hurries to the bus.

The school day passes without any interesting occations. The only entertaining thing that happened was Jooheon stumbling and falling into Mr. Kim causing him to spill his coffee all over him. It was hard to supress that laugh but with the thought of not wanting Detention again he somehow manages it to hold it in.

After school Jooheon just comes along, greeting his mom with a nod before they both go into Changkyuns room.

 

"Any dress code for today?"

"No, i will just go with what im wearing right now, so just keep the clothes on"

"ok...."

"We still have about an hour left before we go to that convention so wanna play a game" Jooheon smirks

"Sure lets go"

And with that the hours passes, of course, really fast. When they realize the hour is already over, they quickly shut down the computer and are getting ready to leave

*Where are you going Changkyun?* his mom asks while they are about to leave

*Were going to a book convention mom. As a support for Shownu since hes stuck there*

*Have fun but dont come home to late, okay?*

*`Yeah got it dont worry*

*And dont forget to wear a warm jacket honey*

*Yes mom*

Changkyun rolls his eyes again. His mom still treats him as if he is an 10 year old kid that doesnt know how to take care of himself. He sighs while taking his jacket and Jooheon and Changkyun finally leave the house.

The moment they close the door behind them, Changkyun already wants to go back in. Fuck its so cold outside. Bibbering they walk to the bus stop waiting for the bus taking them downtown to the convention.

With a 5 minute delay the bus finally arrives and the sticky warm bus air greets them as they enter. The bus ride wents by silently. They sit down and both immidiately get their earphones out and start listening to music. 

After 20min their stop comes and they exit the bus.

"Why is it so fucking cold already" Jooheon groans

"Ask god"

"Wow Changkyun you are so funny. Do you see how much im laughing"

"Yeah you are trying to catch your breath right now"

"Fuck you"

"I love you too"

"Ew"

While they continue bickering each other they quickly arrive at the convention center. They easily spot Shownu in front of it, as hes the only squishy, lost, awkward bean standing alone surrounded by big groups of some weird nerds. 

"Thank god you are finally here, im so awkward between all those intellegent book nerds"

"Glad that you accept yourself as an awkward person instead of denial"

"Ah fuck of Changkyun you are not better."

"But im not as tall so people wont notice im awkward, bitch"

"Oh so feisty today"

They get interrupted by Jooheon laughing his ass off because of Changkyun and Shownu trying to beef eventhough theyre good friends.

"You both sound so dumb omg"

"Shut up, Dumbo" Shownu and Changkyun say in unison.

"Lets stop talking nonsense and go inside my balls are freezing"

"Ew"

They start walking to the entrance when they spot Shownus boyfriend obviously waiting for them. 

He quickly hugs Shownu and kisses him before greeting them. 

"So welcome to this years book convention. I know you all probably arent really interested in it but next to classical literature and classics we also have a section with new books and lots of Fantasy stuff. Im responsible for the classics section with my best friend. Ill shortly show you where we are and then you can all just walk around and i dont know fall in love with books" Minhyuk explains while smiling.

After a 10 minute walk through this labyrinth, its worse than the school librarry, they arrive at a banner which says "Classics".

"Wait ill introduce you to my best friend quickly maybe he can answer questions because my shift begins now"

He dissapears for a second behind a wall of books before coming back with- Wait that i eye-dimpe boy.

"Hey everyone im Kihyun. Nice to meet you" he greets them before smiling aka before Changkyuns heart melts again. 

"This is Changkyun and Jooheon and of course my boyfriend Shownu buit you already know him lol" Minhyuk says.

Did he really just say lol out loud. Who even does that??

"Oh hi Changkyun nice to see you again" 

Oh no Changkyun dont blush, dont blush, dont-

"H-Hey Kihyun"

"Wait yall know each other?" Jooheon asks confused

"I think knowing is too much for that but we run into each other by accident twice" Kihyun explains while laughing.

God his laugh is so beautiful, Changkyun wants to film and gif it to watch it on loop.

"Anyways im gone now. If you need anything just ask Kihyun bye bye"

Changkyun hears Shownu and Jooheon whispering behind him, he turns around but then he just sees them dissapearing into nowhere. 

His phone lits up. A message from Jooheon ~get him boy~. What even-

"S-So you are working here, Kihyun?"

"I wouldnt call it working because i dont get payed for it but yeah. The ol granny who takes care of the Library was supposed to do that here but she got sick so she called me and asked if i could take care of it"

"So you like books a lot?" Changkyun what the fuck are you talking about. Get yourself together.

"I mean yeah you could say that"He says while laughing "I read a lot, especially old books, so nothing interesting for you. I love getting an insight of the lifes of people in the past and especially to see how much the writing style in general has changed. Its really fascinating. You mentioned before that you dont read a lot right?"

Wow his eyes are beautiful.

"Changkyun?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if i remember it correctly that you dont read a lot"

"Ah yeah, the only book i read outside of school was a game intruction. Ive been never really interested in books. Gaming is all i know" He says while blushing. Kihyun must think hes a dumb fuck now.

"You should definitely check some books out. I can recommend you some if you want"

"Right now I firstly have to finish writing some kind of review of a book and i have no idea how to do that" 

"You know, i could help you if you want. Im not a great writer but maybe i can give you some ideas for your essay" He grins. Wait did his ears just turn red.

"I bet you have better things to do than helping some dumb boy out"

"Im sure youre not dumb Changkyun dont think so low of yourself. And i would love to do it."

"Well okay...if you really want to"

"Ill give you my phone number so we can schedule a meeting, k?"

"Hm yeah" Is he really about to get dimple-boys phone number.

Breathe, Changkyun. Breathe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyn i love you
> 
> The next Chapters will probably take some time since school is starting again  
> (please kill me)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter will probably take a while since school starts at the end of the week

As soon as they exchanged phone numbers Kihyun started to talk about books. The younger one tried to keep up with the topic, but ended up just staring at his – beautiful – eyes the whole time, which always seem to light up whenever he started to talk about books. 

 

Kihyun mentioned Shakespeare – which caused Changkyuns brain to completely shut off. Shakespeare has never been his „friend“. He remembers the time, where he had to read it for his literature class and he – no need to actually say it – absolutely hated it. No offense! He's sure that Shakespeare was a really creative man, but Changkyun didn't understand a word since he isn't familiar with the language..... in addition he still doesnt understand the decisions of the main characters. Where's the Logic??

Those fictional characters probably never heard of it.

Eventhough he is lost in his thoughts, he suddenly feels a pair of eyes looking at him intensely.

"Did i bore you? Im sorry but i tend to talk a lot about the things i really like"

"Oh my god, no!" Changkyun blushes, "I got caught in my thoughts im sorry"

"Ah, its okay im used to it"

"No please dont think like that. Shakespeare only reminded me of something in school. I tend to get distracted easily by practically everything. Im sorry i shouldve payed more attention"

You fucked up Changkyun. A few minutes after you got his phone number you already fucked up See this is why he is going to stay single forever.

"Yeah i noticed that already" He laughs

"Its cute though The way you get distracted. You tend to chew on ur bottom lip and stare at me like i wasnt there. As if you stare into nothing. Your eyes darken a little bit and your gaze becomes unfocused. Its quite fascinating to be honest." 

"Im sorry again that wasnt intended"

"Its okay. I have to continue working now, Ill text you when i finished. Deal?"

"Deal"

Kihyun quickly dissapeared behind the wall of books again.

Changkyun took out his phone texting Jooheon where they dissapeared to so he wouldnt have to stand around like a loser between thousands of books.

10 minutes later, still without a response, he decides to call with comfy couches and candle lights on the table, eventhough its not completely dark outside yet. The waiter greets us and takes us to a table. He takes our drink orders immidiately and left us for us to decide what we want to eat.

"If you were wondering Changkyun, Kihyun will arrive in like 10 minutes after the dude for the next shift at the classic corner is ready to start. He couldve already come with us but no resisted to make sure the next dude is doing his job properly" Minhyuk starts talking while rolling his eyes.

Minhyuk continues talking about his day there and Changkyuns brain just says good night. Sure Minhyuk is nice but he talks wayy too much.

The waiter quickly came back and took their orders, Changkyun just orders a plain Pizza, and brings them their drinks. While the waiter left their table, he hears someone entering the restaurant. 

A, obviously freezing, Kihyun stand in the entrance, breathing heavily.

God did he run here? 

Changkyun has to admit that Kihyun looks absolutely stunning tho. His cute nose is coloured pink like his lips. While he was breathing heavily his under-eye dimples Changkyun loves so much appeared sneakily. Changkyun catches himself staring again when Kihyun comes over and greets them.

"Hey sorry that i took so long but that boy who takes the next shift doesnt know shit" 

"As long as you are here now" Minyhyuk says while grinning. 

"You can sit next to Changkyun" Shownu says. 

Wait. What. They really-

A little hesitating Kihyun sits down next to him and smiles at him.

Oh god how was he supposed to survive this.

"Im not really hungry though so i will just drink something."

"Y-you can have some of my pizza if you want. I dont think i would be able to finish it alone" 

Did he really just said that.

"You sure Changkyun? I dont want to eat something away."

"No im really not that hungry we can just share"

"If you say so. Then thanks for sharing" Kihyun says while chuckling.

 

He blushed again, didnt he? Why would he chuckle at him otherwise.

Changkyun facepalmed inside as he felt his cheeks starting to burn even more. He sees Jooheon wiggling his eyebrows from aside and starts to plan his murder in his thoughts already. Hes staying over tonight, he can already imagine Jooheon not shutting up about this.

Five minutes later the waiter brings their food and they start eating. Minhyuk starts talking to Kihyun and Changkyun just stays still, silently listening to Kihyuns soothing voice. Does Kihyun sing? Hes sure he would sound amazing with a voice like this.

While hes paying attention to Kihyun he notices that he gets tiny dimples too when he chews And that he obviously loves food because his eyes light up the same like when he speaks about books.

After they finish they quickly pay and decide to go straight home because its so freaking cold outside.

As Jooheon and Changkyun say goodbye to the others and walk to the bus stop Jooheon starts talking to him.

"Youre so whipped for him and you dont even try to hide it"

"I dont know what you are talking about"

"I just saw you staring at Ki for a whole hour while he was doing nothing except for eating and you smiled the whole time. If that isnt whipped culture than i dont know what is"

"I have known him for what? A week? Stop being delusional Jooheon?"

"I remember your first crush Changkyun, you knew him for literally a second"

"That one doesnt count"

"You two would be adorable together you know. Two tiny peeps"

"Jooheon istg Ill kick you out tonight"

"If you like him you will have to do something about it. Talk to him or text him i dont know. Just do something. Relationship dont come from nothing."

"I know that. But...I wouldnt have time for a serious relationship. My mom needs me"

"I never said your mom doesnt need you. Being in a relationship doesnt mean you wont have time for your mom. I bet she would be incredible happy for you. Its a tiny bit of a normal life that you both wish so much for"

 

"I dont know of im ready for that. I feel like doing that would be me pretending that everything in the past didnt happen"

"Changkyun" Jooheon sighs

"That isnt you pretending it didnt happen. This would be you accepting that it happened but showing your father the finger and tell him Yes were doing good without your ass of a human. And im one hundred procent sure that your mom just wants to leave the past in the past. You should try being like that too. Please.."

"Ill try okay"

They the bus coming and start running towards the bus stop and luckily the bus driver sees them running and stops.

Exhaustd from the short sprint they sit down and get our their earphones.

Changkyun clicks shuffle and 1 (one) by the Dj H.One starts playing. 

"Hey Changkyun" Jooheon starts, "You arent mad at me right?"

"Why should I"

"Because I talked about your dad again. I know youre not quite comfortable with that"

"Its okay dont think too much about it. Thanks for the concern though bro"

And with that their bus stop comes and they leave the bus. The cold breeze hits them and Jooheon cusses under his breathe. 

"You know i love snow but this cold wind will be my death"

"Yeah urgh"

As they enter the house he sees his mom sitting at the table.

Of course she waited. She was always worried about him, a reason why his sleepovers mostly took part as his house. His mom cant sleep when she doesnt know for sure that hes save. Its a thing she developed after his dad became violent towards his mum and himself, so he doesnt blame her for that.

*Did you have fun?*

*Yes mom we did. We will go upstairs now okay? Sleep well i know you have an yoga appointment tomorrow with your friend*

*Thanks honey i will*

They go upstairs and go to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Changkyun decides eventually to shower too while Jooheon is getting his TV ready for a movie night. They might be gamers but nothing is better than a movie night with your best friend, especially when you both have the same taste.

They both loves Action-Comedies and the internet has plenty of those so they sure wouldnt be bored. When Changkyun exits the bathroom Jooheon immidiately starts the movie. Changkyun throws himself into his bed and they start watching it while eating the nachos Changkyun stored under his bed for exactly this purpose

"You know we could also talk about Kihyun if you want"

"Shut up and watch the movie, Jooheon"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyn <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 will probably take some time since school started again so im sorry in advance uwu

The night has been long, but fun. They watched movies – untill the sun started to light up the sky, which resulted to them sleeping until late afternoon. Once Changkyuns mom decided it would be a good time waking them up, knowing exactly that they stayed up the whole night, she quietly sneaked into the room. 

She softly shakes Changkyun, waking him up and quickly signing that dinner will be ready in one hour – so they should get ready. After that – his mom left the room, he groans and lets his body fall into the soft bed again, causing Jooheon to wake up.

 

He quickly mumbles an apology for waking him up and takes a pillow, pressing it into his face not wanting to accept the fact that he has to indeed get up now if he doesnt want to starve.

"Yo Jooheon my mum told me Dinner is ready in an hour so we should probably get up now and shower"

Jooheon just nods, deciding that he wants to shower first, opening Changkyuns drawer and gets out fresh clothes. Theyve been doing this for years and at this point they dont even know which clothes belong to who because they basically just share everything. Changkyun gets out a towel, throws it to Jooheon and snuggles himself into the blanket again, taking this as an oppotunity to sleep another 15 minutes until Jooheon has finished showering.

 

He is falling back asleep quickly – but it only feels like one minute of sleep before Jooheon wakes him up, telling him that he is free to use the bathroom now.

Like a sloth he gets out of bed – slowly . He's taking sloppy steps towards the bathroom door, getting a towel thrown against his head.

"Dont forget the towel idiot" the other boy says while laughing about Changkyuns tired and now annoyed face. His hair is looking like a bird nest and his cheeks are still red from sleeping. Changkyun only rolls his face and makes his way to the bathroom again.

He gets rid of his sleeping clothes and goes into the shower. He puts on the water, thinking that it still has to be warm from Jooheon, only to get drenched by water as cold as ice. He loudly curses, while Jooheon screams from his room.

 

"I thought a little cold shower wouldnt hurt you to wake up"

"Fucking fuck you Jooheon"

"No thanks and now hurry up"

 

The wish to throw Jooheon out of his Window was incredible high right now. But still, not having another option since he was starving, he hurried up with the Shower.

As he puts on fresh clothes, he takes a look in the mirror. Oh holy hell he looked horrible Deep dark circles under his eyes and white like a wall.

Great.

As he hears his mom entering the room again he comes out of the bathroom.

*Food is ready darling*

*Yeah i will just dry my hair real quick and then were coming downstairs*

She nodded and leaves the room again. He quickly dries his hair and they both start walking downstairs. A delicious smell meets their noses already halfway down the stairs. A smell of amazing Chicken Soup with selfmade bread as a side dish. 

 

Changkyun knows Jooheon absolutely loves this so he smiles as he sees his friends eyes lit up at the smell, making him speed up his walk even more.

Chuckling he follows Jooheon to the kitchen where his mom is waiting.

The dinner passes silently, the only sounds are them slurping the soup and chewing the bread. After dinner Jooheon helps cleaning the dishes before he says goodbye to his mom, gets his jacket and goes home.

"Remember to talk to Kihyun if you like him Changkyun. Chances wont last forever"

"Get home safetly Jooheon" the younger boy responds before he closes the door.

*Mom do you have any plans for this evening?*

*No Honey why are you asking*

*Wanna play cards with me* he smiles. 

 

His mom has been so busy with her job over the last few weeks, with all her courses she does in her free time. They havent had a proper talk in weeks, the only times where they talked with each other was either about food or school and then for only a few minutes. Most boys at his age were probably all about freedom and indipendency from their parents but Changkyun always felt the urge to show his mom thathe appreciates all her hard work and that he sees all those little gestures like putting the blanket over him when he fell asleep on the sofa while watching a film and that he cherishes those.

 

When he asked her to play cards her eyes got soft, litting up full of love and adoration. Yes his mom really loved him with her whole heart and Changkyun knows that and he also freaking loves so much. Growing up with all those struggles made him realize how important real relationships are and especially how much he loves his mom, the one who always shielded him, who always protected him from everything thats bad. 

*Yes i would love to Honey*

Changkyun quickly runs upstairs to get the cards while his mom gets the sofa ready and turns on the TV as a side entertainment while playing.

While they play his mom starts talking about her Yoga course and how she met a women there whos really nice and that they might become friends.

*You should come with me one day so i can introduce you to her. Shes super nice and shes super good at yoga like shes gum, super flexible*

Changkyun loves and smiles. His moms facial expressions sudddenly fall.

*Mom whats wrong*

*I just miss hearing your laugh, its so beautiful* she says with sad eyes.

Changkyun quickly pulls her into his embrance, caressing her back while kissing her forehead. She pulls him even tighter, making his heart ache. He hates seeing his mom sad. It doesnt happened often, shes such a strong woman but it does happen. Seeing the sadness in her eyes is absolutely terrifying for him.

He leans away a little to sign.

 

*Mom, i love you so much, you know that right*

*Of course i do honey. Its hard sometimes, but i will get over it eventually dont worry*

*As long as youre happy, I am happy*

 

The womans eyes get a little bit livier again after seeing that from her son.

The rest of the night they cuddle on the couch watching Crappy Tvshows with subtitles and eating cheap Nachos that practically taste like nothing but at least they are crispy.

Without even noticing they fall asleep on the sofa, the TV still playing in the background.

His mom is the first one to wake, carefully getting up while trying to not wake up her dear son. She puts a pillow under his head,puts a blanket over him and turns off the tv. She fondly looks at her smol everything. He had endured so much, from his father to having to learn sign language. But he never even once complained about having it hard. He always made sure to tell his mom how much he loves her and that he would do anything for her.

 

He's so strong and mature for his age and she always feels sorry that he never got the innocent happy childhood that he deserved. She realized it too late, that her former husband wasnt loving them, that she made so many mistakes and still she only got out if it after he left. And thats what is bugging her. Her inability to leave him eventhough she knew her son was suffering, that someone she loved so much was suffering because of her.

 

Thats why she tried extra hard for providing him a normal life after he left. Making sure he found friends, went to school and got to feel a sense of normality. It was never easy, it still isnt it but she is happy where they are right now. Just the two of them. Of course she knows that it wont stay forever like this. Her son will grow up even more and then the day will come when he moves out, maybe find someone to spend his life with and she would do anything to make sure that Changkyun stays happy forever.

He helped her when she needed him the most, so shell be always there for him. A promise she made for herself.

 

She smiles at her gorgeous son once again before shutting off the lights in the living room and going upstairs so the boy can sleep a little bit longer. He slept way to less those days. Of course she noticed him staying up till the eraly morning playing games but she couldnt bring herself to prohibit it completely. She felt like that when Changkyun was gaming he truly felt happy, without any second thoughts, without any worries. And of course when Jooheon stayed over. They became friends shortly after Changkyuns father left. He picked up the little broken boy that would refuse to go outside and made him smile again. Be it games or simply talking they just were perfect to each other. Jooheon was the only one knowing Changkyuns past, all his struggles and imperfections. Sure, Changkyun had other friends, Shownu who basically knows him since he was a baby but he mever saw what happened inside their house. He doesnt know about Changkyun to be honest, only the basic stuff. She noticed that when he once came over a month ago to play games with him. The way Changkyun behaves in front of Shownu and other people and Jooheo was different. With Jooheon he was more vulnerable. In front of the others it was like Changkyun had build a wall between them not letting them see his real self.

 

She hoped – that one day he might find another person like Jooheon, another person that he will trust with his whole life.

 

And that maybe he will be able to live without any worries, because she knows he hasnt closed up his past. She knows that deep inside of him he still wants to know where his dad is, why he suddenly left. Its not like hes fond of him or sees him as a father figure but he grew up with him and at some point he did love his father. Back then when everything was still alright. Back then when he wasnt an asshole, where her husband was an actual loving husband. And she too wonders what made him change so much. How someone originally so lovable became the hell on earth to them.

She shakes herself again to get rid of those thoughts and goes to her bed, quickly falling asleep again with the image of her smiling son in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always Cyn i love you

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are very much appreciated


End file.
